I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
