I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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