NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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