for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
