he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
