8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have aggressive nipples.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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