ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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