I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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