she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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