everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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