oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
