Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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