worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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