it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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