butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
