ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
