if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
