I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize