Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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