the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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