So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
