Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
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