I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
