I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
