HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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