I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize