I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize