i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
