but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
