The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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