I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.