you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
a search helicopter?!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans