Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.