Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

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(248): View more from Michigan

..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I know she was great

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(208): View more from Idaho

U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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(289): View more from Ontario

i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that

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(620): View more from Kansas

In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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(937): View more from Ohio

Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs

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