your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
