all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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