kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
