we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
