Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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