maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
