when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
