Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will be naked everywhere
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.