Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.

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(831): View more from California

you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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(512): View more from Texas

I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.

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(209): View more from California

His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(206): View more from Washington

So. She dumped me today.

(425): View more from Washington

Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.

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(727): View more from Florida

I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.

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