Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face

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  (518): Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face http://tfl.nu/t4mk
  Replies (17) Good night (716) Bad night (2851)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

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  (404): Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head (770): Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you http://tfl.nu/ibzk
  Replies (20) Good night (3974) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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  (703): We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college. http://tfl.nu/pxwn
  Replies (11) Good night (4645) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink

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  (906): I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink http://tfl.nu/nyxg
  Replies (17) Good night (773) Bad night (4171)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.

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  (661): No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/5zs6
  Replies (44) Good night (4538) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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  (248): I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high... http://tfl.nu/j3oh
  Replies (55) Good night (5846) Bad night (1490)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

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  (908): Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic http://tfl.nu/xmss
  Replies (4) Good night (2644) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned

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  (928): Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned http://tfl.nu/e99u
  Replies (12) Good night (1866) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can feel the alcohol in my calves

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  (518): I can feel the alcohol in my calves http://tfl.nu/p5wf
  Replies (3) Good night (2894) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.

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  (414): czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw. http://tfl.nu/4g8m
  Replies (7) Good night (1771) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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  (312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (2511) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.

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  (713): Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere. http://tfl.nu/qua7
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.

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  (802): you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january. http://tfl.nu/msqr
  Replies (5) Good night (1640) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.

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  (603): He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it. http://tfl.nu/lxzp
  Replies (6) Good night (1300) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.

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  (404): Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/rj7n
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (269)

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