Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?

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(303): If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made? http://tfl.nu/goen

Replies (46) Good night (1153) Bad night (16405)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it

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(973): Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it http://tfl.nu/e8zq

Replies (6) Good night (3682) Bad night (928)
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(713): View more from Texas

I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.

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(713): I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand. http://tfl.nu/1sll

Replies (8) Good night (3265) Bad night (876)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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(617): The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door. http://tfl.nu/n48k

Replies (29) Good night (4006) Bad night (1582)
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(347): View more from New York

He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?

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(347): He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family? http://tfl.nu/6x1g

Replies (10) Good night (714) Bad night (2373)
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(714): View more from California

the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

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(714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13

Replies (7) Good night (2004) Bad night (692)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?

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(513): Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ? http://tfl.nu/6gn7

Replies (15) Good night (619) Bad night (1720)
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(949): View more from California

how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

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(949): how did we start talking about space blow jobs? http://tfl.nu/0fha

Replies (14) Good night (1762) Bad night (611)
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(309): View more from Illinois

she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

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(309): she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it http://tfl.nu/dnda

Replies (7) Good night (1039) Bad night (700)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

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(808): And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up. http://tfl.nu/dab6

Replies (9) Good night (3644) Bad night (883)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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(256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc

Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (322)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

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(978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k

Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (446)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.

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(216): I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class. (610): I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class. http://tfl.nu/0ypg

Replies (0) Good night (1075) Bad night (383)
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(253): View more from Washington

I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.

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(253): I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties. http://tfl.nu/4gzc

Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (335)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.

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(614): This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato. http://tfl.nu/wzg8

Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (749)

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