At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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