My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
