He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
