i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
