Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My day in three words: secret purse cake
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
