dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She announced her abortion via fbk
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex