thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.