Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.