Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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  (250): You don't have asthma, your pregnant http://tfl.nu/jkmk
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.

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  (407): He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven. http://tfl.nu/duyw
  Replies (10) Good night (739) Bad night (4001) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?

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  (216): Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon? http://tfl.nu/iu1h
  Replies (19) Good night (639) Bad night (1329) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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  (513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41
  Replies (17) Good night (5965) Bad night (924)
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  (+65): View more from

  He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

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  (+65): He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay? http://tfl.nu/afe2
  Replies (55) Good night (6626) Bad night (2104) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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  (914): every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now http://tfl.nu/173b
  Replies (25) Good night (8806) Bad night (1283)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?

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  (847): as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning? http://tfl.nu/weqo
  Replies (22) Good night (9952) Bad night (978)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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  (414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq
  Replies (158) Good night (2432) Bad night (12348) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

  (714): View more from California

  he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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  (714): walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined (714): he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day http://tfl.nu/76ot
  Replies (44) Good night (4659) Bad night (8316)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.

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  (214): I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all. http://tfl.nu/v9t7
  Replies (6) Good night (2868) Bad night (823) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass

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  (336): For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass http://tfl.nu/ljpj
  Replies (9) Good night (477) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.

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  (203): A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM. http://tfl.nu/tstz
  Replies (4) Good night (2328) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?

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  (508): i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now? http://tfl.nu/8a2l
  Replies (8) Good night (1379) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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  (717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi
  Replies (11) Good night (2027) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.

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  (563): The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers. (1-563): I desperately wanted to wear your shirt. http://tfl.nu/ni9x
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (285)

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