If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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