I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize