Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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