Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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