I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
