I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
