He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
