apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
