shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
