I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
