Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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