the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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