Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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