I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
