Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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