The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
