i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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