I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize