Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
