Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
