dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
