So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
