Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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