ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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